Commitment

Commitment is a very hard word apparently. I suck at this blogging thing. I suck at sticking to a workout routine. No really, I do. However, I feel I may be able to get better, maybe. Only time will tell. I know these are things I said, thought and felt so many times before, but this time I feel a little differently. I realize with my husband gone so much I need to find an outlet for frustration, for creativity, for motivation and for letting myself know its ok, even when I feel so sad and tired I don't want to do anything.

Over the past few years many things have changed and heaved and rearranged in my life. Jobs changed, both for me and my husband. With those changes now means he will spend significant amounts of time away from home, and I am realizing I am more dependent on the companionship of another human than I would ever like to admit. I've let the depression and apathy monster get the best of me, I've put on way more weight than I'd like to admit. I've started and failed at so many attempts to better myself and become a healthier version of who I am now. I am hoping that just journaling my thoughts through a blog may help with many of those things. So here it goes again.

Today was my new beginning. I ran a comfortable 1.5 miles, I wasn't any of the things I thought my out of shape self would feel. Instead of sore and tired and weak, I felt energized and good for the first time in a while. Here is to commitment to me and making myself what I know I can become.